Face Fear Head On !!

Today is the 5th day I have been home, thanx to my back ache. I have been so restless, restless coz of the pain, discomfort, lack of sleep, being home alone and more so coz being alone makes me face my fears. And they as loyal friends have shown up yet again …I have known them for years but yet never understood why they existed in my life. At times I battle them and win, at times I just burry them away, or at times I just keep running away from them making myself so busy with work or my nonstop chatter . While over the years I have won over quite a few of them …there are these loyal ones that keep showing up testing me time and again and I tend to fail miserably and go down on my knees and accept my helpless defeat.

I have been wondering why this back ache has appeared in the 1st place…its so untimely (and undesired of course) I mean its not that I hurt myself or slipped or anything of that sort. Yes I do agree that body gives signs …and that everything in life has a reason, nothing is a coincidence,always a perfect plan.

Due to being alone I have been reading quite a bit …not particularly a hobby but I enjoy reading philosophy and self help based books. I read them in a weird fashion though …ask a question in my mind and pick up the 1st random page that shows up. At times the book I pick is by a random choice too. Amazing part is most often the page I land up opening gives me an answer or cue to solve my problem.

Last few days, specially last evening I was in conflict with myself and my fears and finally got fed up of the whole act ( that’s how I usually take action in life and it always works ).. I sat with myself and asked what can I do to get rid of them …from within came a voice …”Don’t run away Face them Head On” and see the magic. For a moment I wasn’t sure if that was my inner voice or my mind that did the speaking…quickly reminded myself of what Abhijeet mentioned to me the other day when I asked him as to how do I know if what I heard is my hearts voice or my mind’s ? He spontaneously replied “When u stop asking that question and surrender!”

After a few hours latter when I settled down in bed ..I opened a random page from Robin Sharma’s book “ The Man who sold his Ferrari” and guess what it said …
“The only limits on your life are those you set on yourself…

Take time to reflect on what it is that you might be keeping you from the life you really want and know deep down you can have.

Once u identified what your weaknesses are, the next step is to face them head on and attack your fears.

Fear is nothing but a mental monster you have created, a negative stream of consciousness. They are nothing more than imaginary little gremlins that have crept into the mind over the years.”

The voice I heard and this chapter both seem to give me a message …a Message of Facing My Fears Head On…it surely wasn’t any coincidence but a sure sign of help extended by the universe. I decided too accept what came and flow with it…I took a pen and paper and decided to pen down my FEARS …specially the ones that had been most loyal.

Strangely just 4 fears immerged ( can u imagin just of them ruling my life ). I kept looking at them with anger,disgust, then with a fright and then with tears in my eyes. Now that I had faced them I didn’t know what should I do next. Just then I was reminded of a technique my boss had demonstrated to me to find solution to any work related issue. He called it the Toyota 5 Whys ?. Honestly while that demonstration had intrigued me it had not got me any real solutions. However I decided to try it out on my personal front. The technique was easy …All you have to do is Pen down the issue and drill it further with a Why to every answer that came up …5 such why’s usually helps you identify the real problem and guides you through a solution.

I picked each of the 4 fears and grilled them to the 5 WHY?....I was shocked and amazed when I actually managed to land up to the cause of the fears…they weren’t something I had ever imagined and had stemmed from past circumstances mostly childhood related. The discovery shook me up…and for a while I was numb. The next step was to find the solutions… as they rightly say the 1st crucial step to solving the problem is to identify it in the 1st place.

While I have begun to process of finding the solution with the faith that my heart, the universe and my teacher Prasad will guide me… I am very very happy that thanx to facing My Fears Head On I now know they are just a figment of my imagination and can be tackled with ease. And I can receive all that I desire and deep down I know I deserve!