A Ride Back Home ...

Last nite as I rode back home with my junior Siraj, we talked about life in general and I happen to share how a close friends bitching about my driving skills that had upset me alot, the one who I always gave the credit for boosting my confidence when I had just begun to drive 2 years back.

Driving has been my passion and I remember how only my dearest papa understood it and believed in my little dream. As a kid I wanted to be truck driver coz it was the biggest vehicle I thought I could drive. The moment I turned 18, papa enrolled me to a driving school and bought a car that I could practice on …yes I did learnt and did drive around with papa in our blue Fiat. It was the happiest moment of my life! Being able to drive, that too, under my papa dearest guidance.

But I guess life had other plans…few months there after papa passed away. I still remember in those 3 months of the ICU he had mentioned to me “ Jaa gadi lekar aa mujhe ghar jana hai”. In that semi conscious state too he remembered my dream.

However with his untimely death came a pause to all my dreams. Life just seemed to stand still …infact after a while started slipping out of my fist like sand…we emotionally lost a lot and materialistically as well …Had to sell off the cars as my grand parents who in their best knowledge of the moment and protective nature didn’t want me to hurt myself with the car.

It felt like some one had pulled my life’s chain to a halt…a halt to my passions, interest, dreams and everything there was in my life.

Some how amazingly my dream of driving my own car some day just didn’t seem to die …got buried for a while…long while actually, yet remained in my heart. I always knew that I will have my car some day and will drive …didn’t know how it will happen but knew it will happen for sure some day. I often wondered who will hold my hand and teach me how to crawl, take baby steps and then run.

Though life closed the door on my face …it had opened small windows around. Along came people who stood by me, pampered me, pulled out all my buried dreams,and gave them wings. Sagar uncle, Renu mami ,Anand, Niki, Ruchi and Dilip uncle are the ones who strongly believed in my biggest dream “ My Car”. In their own little ways kept it alive in my heart …and after a long wait …came the great day when I managed to buy my own car …it was my life’s biggest achievement …step by step I re learnt to drive. I didn’t have papa with me all the time to guide but as and when some one corrected and guided me began to learn and gain confidence. Being with my car is always my happiest moment …yes I do miss Papa a lot and wish so many times that he could be here. Every time I drive I remind myself that even the most impossible dreams can come true only if we believe in it.

As I was sharing this with Siraj my life flashed in front of my eyes. Just then Siraj ( quite an interesting personality that he is .. to describe in short he is ‘Circuit’ from Munna bhai in his mumbaiya style of talking, mannerisms etc ..very clean hearted, jovial, team player, fun loving guy…one who can extend himself completely and unconditionally to help people he loves) started to talk to me . He said the most amazing things in his own Mumbaiya style he said …” Aap ko na ab gaadi chalana atta hai ..maast gadi chalte ho, magar ab aap ko na zara style se chalaneka, Ekdum confidence mein aur easy ho ke ..tension bilkul nahi lene ka, bhale dheere chalo magar confidence aur stle mein. Gaadi ko feel karne ka …steering wheel jab turn karte ho to usko feel karo, break jab lagate ho to usko feel karo, gaadi ki har movement aur awaaz ko feel karo,engine ki aawaz ko feel karo, wheel ke movement ko feel karo, cluch ko feel karo, drive ko feel karo, gaadi jab turn karti hai na usko feel karo …aap feel kar ke chaloge na to 100% apko bhaut maza ayengi , koi kuch bhi bole aap ekdun mast ho ke chalo”

I kept hearing him… acknowledging his words, carefully heard every bit of what he said and was trying to convey… this little master of mine unknowing was teaching me a lesson. He was trying to tell me to feel every experience, feel my passion and live it, feel each experience however good or bad, feel my dream as though they has already happened , feel every situation that life offers us without any regrets and soon I would realize life is beautiful and worth living …

Its amazing how that ride back home with the little master could teach me important lessons. Thank you Siraj for those simple yet effective words that I seem to understand more and more as I dwell on them. I shall surely try to live and experience every little thing that comes forth and enjoy it to the fullest. Thank you Universe for yet again pulling me out of the misery that I had created for myself with some loose remarks made by some one and instilling confidence back again