The Magic of Expressions...

5TH Oct 2006
Emotions like love, affection, care, gratitude, joy, anger, sadness etc.aren’t they all beautiful. Then why do we resist from truly expressing them. Why do we hold back ? I think it ‘Fear’…yes fear of rejection, fear of being laughed at, fear of being misunderstood and lot many fears.

This holding back most often stops us from experiencing Magic …magic of the reciprocations that we could have received by sheer expression.

In the last 5 days I have battled my fear and resistance and expressed my feelings, thoughts, views and affection to people known and unkown and I am overwhelmed by the responses I have received. One such expression is to a complete stranger M.

On the 2nd day of the beach walk in the evening I saw a flock of birds flying from one tree on the left to the other on the right. This flock was noisy and continued this little act of there’s. I wondered what must have happened or must have caused this chaos.
When suddenly me eyes fell upon M…a very intense quiet looking fellow from the group. I had been observing him right from the train journey and felt something very mysterious about him. There seemed a lot hiding behind his intensity and aloofness. It almost looked like a mask he was wearing to hide someone beautiful within. I wondered why but yet this mask and the mystery behind it attracted me.

M stood way below the tall trees with a long stick and was innocently swaying it in the directions that the birds were already flying. His little act looked like he was pretending to make the existing chaos happened. It looked very cute and I broke into a big broad smile. Smile that felt from the heart. This incident some how stayed with me.

Yesterday I realized that M felt the need to overcome his non expressive nature …probably something he had been hearing about from people too. I found it strange coz that little act of his on his beach to me looked very expressive and beautiful. To an observer like me it expressed his innocence, playfulness and I guess his state of mind at that moment. Then why did he feel he was non expressive is what I wondered. While I understood the importance of verbal expression I thought even expressing by ones deeds was effective and beautiful. My papa often did that and it worked wonderfully for us.

I wanted to convey the same to M but the fear of being misunderstood and rejected stopped me from reaching out. I kept thinking of ways to reach out and to begin with gather the courage . Prasad often says “ Courage has power, genius and magic” I truly experienced all 3 when I decided to express myself to M. I wrote down a note which Prasad jokingly called a ‘Love letter’ and sent it to Prasad to read it out to him as we were still in silence. I had decided to keep faith in myself and no matter what the outcome accept it as a message. M was obviously stunned to receive a note from me, a stranger he had not spoken to …not even bothered to reciprocated with a smile in last few days of being together .Though he stayed with that dazed look for a while…I saw him just hold my note and express a small tini winny smile to himself. He didn’t even look at me. However I was just too happy that I had expressed my feelings. Really didn’t bother for a response for after all he was a stranger.

Next day during the lunch break as I was chasing these 2 beautiful butterflies I wanted to capture them in my camera came up M towards me. He caught me by a total surprise and said that he wanted to Thank me for the lovely note which he felt that I had written from my heart. He thought it was beautiful and that he would cherish it and keep it with him forever. The way he said all this was so beautiful and I was pleasantly amazed at the way he expressed his gratitude ( and he thinks he can't express ???– Grin ).

I was in awestruck as that is the 1st time I ever heard him speak…in that moment of awe I almost got speechless ( imagine me …the chatter box completely speechless… must have been something mind boggling to make that miracle happen … he he he ) I just foolishly smiled and walked away. I was very very happy …its so true when they say ‘Courage has power, genius and magic’ Magic is what I experienced at that moment.

There after M has been expressing him self beautifully with spoken words too and I am really really happy to see his beautiful expressions to people around and to me.

This incident made me realize the beauty of expressing our emotions. I thought of all those times I had held back expressing myself to people with the fear of rejection. Chances are that I would have got such beautiful responses then as well. I took a decision that very moment is that from here on I am going to gather the courage, listen to my heart and express my feelings without fear of the outcome. There may be times that my expression will not be well taken but in the long run I think I have gathered the faith that they will be understood and will touch peoples lives. I too will accept people’s expressions with an open mind from here on.

With this belief I have decided that I shall take the leap of faith and express truly what my heart guides me to express. Thanks once again for this beautiful realization. Love u UNIVERSE !