Different FOLKS…Different STROKES !

‘Kabhi kabhi to ek lamha hi kafi hota hai aur kabhi kabhi to ek zindagi bhi kaam lagne lagti hai …’ filmy as it may sound it refers to trying to understand and connect with one and other. Reference here is specifically to Men and Women relationships.


‘Once upon a time Maritians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had a happy relationship together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in, they forgot they were from different planets.’ John Gray beautifully uses this metaphor in his book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I like the way he in such simple words sums up the reasons for unhappy relationships in today’s times.

It’s strange but inspite of immense differences people still get attracted to one and other or take decisions of living a life time together. I know of many couples who barely met but took a decision of spending a life time together. Matrimonial sites in today’s time act as similar platforms to connect people from different communities or locations. This system seems to be working beautifully though people still condemn these short stints before taking a plunge and yet advocate ‘Love marriages’ where at least people claim to understand and know each other better.

At times I feel that it’s just a matter of chance …or is it an effort, maturity, acceptance, trust, understanding, compromise, right balance, space, respect, patience and love at play.

Just this afternoon, Ruchi a college friend of mine talked about drastic difference in taste pallets between her husband and her yet how beautifully they seemed to have worked it out. She gave me a cute example of how he loved crisp food items and she preferred soft. So they have identified a south Indian dish ( The Dosa ) as a common dish to share and enjoy together as it takes care of both their likings.

My Mama (Uncle ) and Mami ( Aunt) are a yet another example. In the initial years of marriage all they could see were vast differences between each other. Simple things like she loved dancing and he hated the idea seemed to matter so much. Today it’s surprising to see that they are not only the 1st couple on the dance floor and last to leave. What is worth noting that they also thoroughly enjoy this act of togetherness?

I guess that’s why they say … “To get a little at times it is important to bend a little”

The point I am trying to make today is that by continuing to recognize and explore differences, new ways can be discovered to make any relationship work miraculously and last a life time. However it’s a continuing process and requires great effort from both partners.

I have begun to understand this and trying to put apply the same in my relationships and life. Hoping sincerely that this understanding and effort brings in my world beautiful, healthy and life lasting relationships.