The Race With Myself ...

The subject for this post has been on my mind last 2 weeks. I have been toying with few thoughts I came across on the subject . While working on a campaign for a client my colleague Nishad came up with an interesting concept of ‘The only Race I have is the one with myself’ . The thought really intrigued me and got me thinking. Then I came across another colleague Prabhakar who mentioned to me that apparently there is Olympics analogy which talks about the fact that“ When u are competing, its not about competing with others but it’s about competing with yourself and your body”. Interesting, ain’t it ? Thanks Nishad and Prabhakar for bringing forth such interesting thoughts …

I also watched the film Race and there is this scene where Saif Ali Khan tells Akshay Khanna the reason why he always won against him . He says “ Tum issliye nahi jeete kyo ki tum humesha mujhe harane ke liye khelte they, aur mein kabhi nahi hara kyo ki mein hameshan sirf jeetne ke liye khelta tha” (You always lost coz you tried to only defeat me and I always won coz I only played to win.)

I knew it yet again that these were special messages from the universe and not sheer coincidences. I tried to put these jigsaw pieces together and see what the bigger picture was. Just then I realized that it was an answer to a question I have been struggling and suffocating with.

Post my illness I have been on an emotional roll-a-coaster. I find my self griped with all kinds of baseless fears. Of things I can do or not or how to meet peoples expectations and pace. I found catching up with people’s pace difficult and suffocating. At the same time while I had run in that very same pace I didn’t want to be in that rut forever. I wanted to enjoy what I was doing and yet do things beyond my imagination and at my own pace.

When I spoke to people about my desire I was told it was silly and until you in sync with other’s speed and pace you cant make it !

I felt upset and de-motivated at first. However I believed there was surely a way to make things happen the way I desired them.Just then the universe sent me the message about “‘The Only Race I have is the one with myself” And I realized that the only one person that could stop me was myself. And contrary to peoples belief I could still make it, if I believed in myself.

That’s when I realized that I had already been doing it in my life. I began to looked at my life last 2 months where I found myself constantly pushing to do the basics in life like ’WALK’. For 8 months of my illness I couldn’t and did barely walk. So much so that my stamina had become zilch and confidence shattered. I had to at one point re learn how to walk and take baby steps. Thus my 1st step of getting back my life on track was to get back my confidence in walking. That’s when I started going for morning walks in the beginning of Feb’08. I could barely do 1 round of the garden ( 400 mtrs). I use to wonder how others walked faster and confidently than me. Yet I didn’t give up hope and managed to keep walking. Within 15 days I was doing 4 rounds over 30 mins. I acknowledged myself for every little milestone I crossed. Yet that’s when I put an intention in the universe saying that by March ’08 end I would do 10 rounds = 4 kms in 45 mins. At that stage it seemed like a far fetched dream. Yet slowly but surely I kept at it trying to push myself to move further not bothered of how fast people walked around me but just kept walking at my own pace. And each day I began to enjoy my walk. Today I can say with great pride that Its been a week since I have managed to touch the 10 rounds mark at 45mins that too with ease. YES I made it again…step be step. I rejoiced it and celebrated my milestone. And at the same time just this morning I have put in yet another intention to the universe that by April’08 end I will do 10 km in 30 mins. Yes I know I will make it happen yet again … Coz the only Race I have is the one with myself .