The unshakeable ocean

This morning I felt as though nature revealed to me a beautiful secret. As I sat by the sea side admiring the vastness of the ocean and wondering about it’s depth, something peculiar caught my attention. The ocean almost looked like it had 3 distinct colours. There was one patch of the ocean that looked like a dark, sad and dirty muddy brown, the other was a beautiful shimmering glamorous blue and the third a calm angelic white.

I was very intrigued by this peculiarity of the ocean and tried to understand why it seemed so. Just then I noticed the sky above that almost teasingly seem to break into a big naughty smile. The three distinct colours that I saw on the ocean where actually the refection of the sky above it . The dirty muddy brown patch was reflection of dark monsoon clouds, then there it was the clear blue sky that reflected it self making the ocean look like its was flaunting its glamour and youth and last but not the least the candy floss looking patch of white clouds that reflected the third calm angelic white ocean.

It was a beautiful sight. What really stuck me was the fact that ocean continued to do what it was needed to…flow aimlessly, make new waves, be expansive, stay calm in its depth, accept what was offered to it yet choose not keep anything within itself, be joyful and playful on it’s surface creating one wave after the other. My perception of what it really seemed, it’s darker side, its glamour or it’s calmness didn’t not bother the ocean. It just consistently continued to do what it was needed and meant do.

This unshakeable trait of the ocean just inspired me. It almost felt like nature shared its secret with me…telling me to keep flowing and continue to do what I was needed to do irrespective of what perception people around me had about my being and the choices I made

This unshakeable trait of the ocean just inspired me. It almost felt like nature shared its secret with me… Thank you my darling ocean for re-instilling my faith in believing myself and doing what my heart truly desired

I Believe - Celebaration Of Life !

Extravagant, Power, Energy, Colour, Vibrancy, Spiritual Journey, Passion, Positivity, Lavish, Humbleness, Love, Faith, Hope, Fun, Action, Glamour, Dance, Music, Celebration are just few of the long list of words that come to mind when I think the Spectacular 'I Believe Show' by the very talented and very humble Shiamak Davar.

Well yes I am one of the most fortunate ones to have been invited to see the show twice. The 1st time being last DEC ( ‘07) and then last nite.

It's a show closest to my heart for two beautiful reasons. 1st being my dearest darling angel Shiamak and the theme 'I Believe'. While people probably meet Shiamak at parties, shows, award functions I met him for the very 1st time in last June(07) at the Surgical ICU of the Breach candy hospital after going through the biggest and longest surgery of my life. Hell had broken on me about 15 days prior and I didn't know what more was going to come my way. Just then Shiamak arrived in my ICU room out of the blue to meet me. Did I know him before that .. Well NO !! He was waiting outside the ICU to see his best friends father and he chanced upon my mother and on hearing about me just told her that he wanted to meet me. I was in a bad state physically and emotionally. As I saw him I felt a strange soul connection as if I had known him for a really really long time. 10 mins of very encouraging and kind loving words from him brought about a huge realizations and a big shift in my consciousness. Ever since I have been in touch with him in my own little way.

I BELIEVE Shiamak is one of the many miracles I experienced in the 7 months of my illness.

Me with my Family and my Angel in Dec '07

The 1st time I saw the 'I Believe' Show was yet another turning point in my life. I had just finished my 6th Chemothearpy session post 2 large surgeries (Yes 'Chemo'. I know I have never mentioned this on my blog but the 7 months of trauma I went though was my fight against Cancer) I yet had 1.5 month to go before my final treatment would end. These 5 ½ months had been very difficult, painful and trying.

Though the light at the end of the tunnel was nearing I was loosing hope, faith, tolerance and patience. Just then the 'I Believe' show came up again as yet another divine intervention. I remember I cried through the show as it re- instilled in me faith in the divine, Belief in MYSELF, positivity and the fact that nothing and absolutely nothing was impossible if you truly believed in it.

My Master Magician Prasad always say ' Nothing is impossible, we make possible impossible so let's make impossible possible now' The show truly was a turning point for me. It uplifted my spirit. The next 1.5 months post the show were the toughest and most painful. But my re- instilled Faith and Belief thanks to the show and a million prayers sailed me through it all.

Last nite as I saw the show again. It touched me yet again. But this time it was different feeling. It was a Celebration ! A celebration of my Belief in the Universe, Miracles, Divine Grace, My teacher, My family and all my angels. I had tears of joy as the energy of the show took me on another platform yet again.

Sush and me with Shiamak on 15th April '08

The messages that truly touched me this time were ' I am Alive' ( I wanted to just get up and dance myself to that song ) , 'Wear your happiness everyday', importance of 'Coexistence – How a soft river flows through hard rough rocks yet they both beautifully co exist , Go with the flow', 'Believe in yourself.. no matter what they say', 'No mountains are so great …have faith' ' Because you loved me'' He lives in you…He watches over you' and my all time favorite ' YOU are the happiness that you seek'.

All these and more messages were delivered by my darling Shiamak and his team by a beautifully choreographed dance and singing. The energy of the dancers was almost overwhelming. Shiamak's spectacular singing, energy and positivity just seem to spread like divine showers specially when he and his team come into the audience and interact with them, makes each one dance and sing and just be their child like selves. No matter how many times you watch this show it puts you in complete AWE.

I do have to make a special mention of Shiamak's Special children of the Victory foundation that come on stage. Be it the genius Rohan who can within seconds tell you the day of the week the moment you give him a specific date in the last 3 yrs or the whole bunch of them some on their wheel chairs that are so beautifully propped that made them look so beautiful. I remember the positivity of these special children had touched me in the last show when Shiamak asked one of them I think it was Rohan why his eye was red. The normal response you would expect from any one would be " oh I hurt it or oh its an infection I have' but this special child filled with positivity said " Oh it will go away". They surely and truly inspired me. As the fabulous part was the jamming session between Igor on the saxophone, Nilhil a percussionist and Milind on the flute. It was spectacular. Also cant forget to mention the opening act by the 10 year old Aryman Birla who sings the most touching " I Believe' song also the beautiful Katya who so gracefully danced to Salsa rhythm .

All in all It was a SOUL STIRRING EXPERIENCE and my day was made. I took back home immense positive energy ( I think I am bubbling with it since morning that is why I couldn’t but resist and write this post early morning) , belief in MYSELF and the Universe, Celebration, a healing hug from Shiamak and lot of love he showered me with post the show. LUCKY ME !!!

Thank you Universe for bringing such beautiful and loving angels in my life and Thanks a million Shiamak for being there for me. It truly means a lot to me. I LOVE U !

PS : Click the link for a Photo Album of the show http://www.shiamak.com/ibelieve/photojournal.htm

The Race With Myself ...

The subject for this post has been on my mind last 2 weeks. I have been toying with few thoughts I came across on the subject . While working on a campaign for a client my colleague Nishad came up with an interesting concept of ‘The only Race I have is the one with myself’ . The thought really intrigued me and got me thinking. Then I came across another colleague Prabhakar who mentioned to me that apparently there is Olympics analogy which talks about the fact that“ When u are competing, its not about competing with others but it’s about competing with yourself and your body”. Interesting, ain’t it ? Thanks Nishad and Prabhakar for bringing forth such interesting thoughts …

I also watched the film Race and there is this scene where Saif Ali Khan tells Akshay Khanna the reason why he always won against him . He says “ Tum issliye nahi jeete kyo ki tum humesha mujhe harane ke liye khelte they, aur mein kabhi nahi hara kyo ki mein hameshan sirf jeetne ke liye khelta tha” (You always lost coz you tried to only defeat me and I always won coz I only played to win.)

I knew it yet again that these were special messages from the universe and not sheer coincidences. I tried to put these jigsaw pieces together and see what the bigger picture was. Just then I realized that it was an answer to a question I have been struggling and suffocating with.

Post my illness I have been on an emotional roll-a-coaster. I find my self griped with all kinds of baseless fears. Of things I can do or not or how to meet peoples expectations and pace. I found catching up with people’s pace difficult and suffocating. At the same time while I had run in that very same pace I didn’t want to be in that rut forever. I wanted to enjoy what I was doing and yet do things beyond my imagination and at my own pace.

When I spoke to people about my desire I was told it was silly and until you in sync with other’s speed and pace you cant make it !

I felt upset and de-motivated at first. However I believed there was surely a way to make things happen the way I desired them.Just then the universe sent me the message about “‘The Only Race I have is the one with myself” And I realized that the only one person that could stop me was myself. And contrary to peoples belief I could still make it, if I believed in myself.

That’s when I realized that I had already been doing it in my life. I began to looked at my life last 2 months where I found myself constantly pushing to do the basics in life like ’WALK’. For 8 months of my illness I couldn’t and did barely walk. So much so that my stamina had become zilch and confidence shattered. I had to at one point re learn how to walk and take baby steps. Thus my 1st step of getting back my life on track was to get back my confidence in walking. That’s when I started going for morning walks in the beginning of Feb’08. I could barely do 1 round of the garden ( 400 mtrs). I use to wonder how others walked faster and confidently than me. Yet I didn’t give up hope and managed to keep walking. Within 15 days I was doing 4 rounds over 30 mins. I acknowledged myself for every little milestone I crossed. Yet that’s when I put an intention in the universe saying that by March ’08 end I would do 10 rounds = 4 kms in 45 mins. At that stage it seemed like a far fetched dream. Yet slowly but surely I kept at it trying to push myself to move further not bothered of how fast people walked around me but just kept walking at my own pace. And each day I began to enjoy my walk. Today I can say with great pride that Its been a week since I have managed to touch the 10 rounds mark at 45mins that too with ease. YES I made it again…step be step. I rejoiced it and celebrated my milestone. And at the same time just this morning I have put in yet another intention to the universe that by April’08 end I will do 10 km in 30 mins. Yes I know I will make it happen yet again … Coz the only Race I have is the one with myself .