Will to Live !

As I walked the beautiful pathways of life in the most cheerful,chirpy and carefree way
So much in my own world, so in my own way

Was warned about the hurdles, was alerted about the demons
Yet I didn’t really ever seem to care, as I was always so caught up in it’s beauty that never could see the darkness coming my way

Unexpected one dark scary nite I tripped over a hurdle and fell in a deep ugly ditch
It was sure dark, ugly, scary, nothing like I had ever heard or seen of
For days I lie there bruised and in pain with little hope that too in vain

I was reminded of my beautiful pathway all the time
I did have the will to get there again one day

Yet the darkness of the ditch challenged my will time and again
Life seemed to be coming to an end, my will and hope began to crumble
Just then there was a rustle, a little light began to blink
A faint voice called out “ Is there someone down there with a will to live ?”

My crumbled hope and almost shattered will along with my bruised hurt body struggled hard to reach out to the voice
Soon I found myself struggling yet trying to climb my way up
My body was weak and in pain yet my heart showed me the beautiful pathway again
As I struggling reached to the opening of the ditch I had fallen from…I took the 1st breath of fresh air and saw my beautiful pathway ahead of me.

I looked around trying to search for the one who had called asking “ Is there someone down there with a will to live ?”
My search seemed to be in vain …there was no one in sight and I wondered why then did I hear that voice

Just then something from within spoke up to me , It said “Don’t look around my love it’s me your inner voice and your will to live that spoke too you and nobody else who has managed to get you out of this scary, painful, dark ditch, go ahead and walk the beautiful pathway that await you, live your life to your fullest and if you come across any ditches and hurdles yet again always remember your' Will to live' and u will be back on your beautiful pathway again..."

Listening !

I had never really realized the importance of this subject. Yes Listening is the most important part of communication of any kind and yet we all take it so casually. Do we really listen? To people around us, to ourselves, or just the beautiful sounds offered by God. Yes these are question that came to my mind when I met up with a young 17 year old boy at the park a few days ago.

He is one of my dear friend’s cousin brother …Mihir. I have known him for years. He hasn’t been a normal born child yet over the years he has improved a lot. And now he looks and behaves very normal. (Except for his speech, which I found a bit difficult to understand )

I had stepped out to a park after ages was tackling emotional waves arising in my mind of my life’s sudden slow down. I think, I was getting in to my self pity modes. Mihir was taking his evening walk and each time he passed me he would give me really affectionate smile. After a while he came up and sat down with me and began talk. As if he was waiting to share and chat a lot. It’s was a very cute, innocent and touching conversation.

He talked about how he misses his brother who has gone abroad for studies, how it hurt him to see his cousin brother who is upset with educational life is angry with things and him and refuses to talk or play with him, he talked about how his special school had a lot of poor people and how uncomfortable he was with the bad smell from their clothes, how he had very few friends, how anxious he was of just ‘passing exams’, How he was on his own most of times, how he looked forward to meeting my friends /his cousin’s 1 year old baby and just playing with her,how he looked forward to celebrating his birthday with his mom and dad who took him to fancy restaurant and so on .

As I quietly and willing listened to him I realized how he really lived every moment, he didn’t seem to know or care of any major goals or ambitions in life, how small things that we take for granted meant so much for him, and that was his way of living may be that god had chosen for him. He had his own issues, sadness and happy moments.

For the 1st time I realized the importance of listening. The importance of what true listening could reveal about the other person who we merely judge but not really get to understand what his / her true reality is. It’s strange how we really don’t listen much yet expect to be heard out and complain how people around / loved ones don’t listen to us.

Thanx, Mihir our little chat or rather my willingness to listen has made realize it’s importance !

Insensitivity in today's medical professional !

I am wondering if it’s the medical profession and dealing with so many patients in pain and illnesses that has made a lot of medical experts insensitive and heartless. They are sure there to help patience but somewhere I feel that in the rut of things they forget to empathies with patients and help them deal with their emotional turmoil other than the physical pain. Which I feel is so critical …tackling the emotional pain in an illness is half the battle won…that’s what I feel from my personal experience.

I have been blessed to be under the best doctors, a loving set of nurses and staff at the best hospital,but what about those not so fortunate. Aren’t they human and facing similar emotions and fears as I am. I had a short visit recently to one such general hospital the only place that could help with my physical pain I was struggling with. Yes I did find solution for the physical pain but their rude behavior and way to talking did upset me emotionally a lot. And in my helpless I had to take it with a pinch of salt.

Its sad but even a few fresh intern doctors in the making I met over my last 3 months of treatment made me wonder what these doctors in the making are going to be …They so badly need to be taught how to be humble and counsel patients who are in state of shock and trying to cope with a sudden critical illness that hits them out of the blue.

Films like Patch Adams and Munna Bhai MBBs have touched on these issues well. Yes medical treatment surely cure the dis-ease however it’s that loving human touch, just a smile, jaddu ki jappi, humour and just listening to the patient in pain can heal the patient faster.

I sincerely hope that more and more awareness can be brought about in medical colleges to deal with a human mind and emotion while under treatment.

Change !

The one thing they say that remains constant in life is ‘Change’
I too am experiencing a lot of change at this stage of my life
A change within me, a change around me, a change all for me.
A change on a physical, spiritual and mental level
At first I feared it
It made me uncomfortable
I fought it then
Struggled to stop it too
Finally found myself, surrender to it as a silent observer
At the moment it doesn’t make sense at all
Yet something from within prompts me time and again to just keep the faith !

Thoughts ...

I am happy at the moment …realized that the moment had come after along time
I felt good and wondered why ?
Just then I realized I was in the NOW
Away from the hurts of the past
Away from the un surety of the future
Away from the gripping fear the unknown
Just here and living this moment of happiness it had offered me
Just smiling away to the raindrops that reach out to me through my windowsill
Seem to kiss my face
Smiling away to the refreshing monsoon breeze that seem to come running past the coconut palms and play away with my hair almost teasing me
Smiling away to the Now that seems like blessing from heaven